Ambika

Hi, sorry to send you this long text message, but I am not coming in today because (choose one of the following): My grand dad passed away. I’m sick. I’m not in the working mood. It’s that time of the month again. I have an appointment with the doc. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK? My mother-in-law has come back as one of the undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it. If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet. I have relatives over. I’m so hung over. The flu it’s all over the city, don’t want to catch it today. I’m bored. I have a headache. My cat/dog passed away. My birthday, I want to spend it with people I like. It’s such a beautiful day, how can anyone work on such a day. A black cat crossed my path, can’t come to work. I’m getting married. I have a terrible attack of diarrhea. My mother’s unwell. I fractured my brain. I quit.


(poster next to the swiping machine at the entrance of the office)